Solution to the Garden Flag
Well, I never did get any good suggestions for a non-lame garden flag and I never found one I liked, so I decided to take it upon myself to sew my own.
Now, I'll have you know that this was a project I did not spend much time on, partly because I expected to mess it up terribly.
First, find some fabric you like and take down your old flag and lay it on the floor in front of a sunny window. I found some outdoor fabric in a pretty pattern by Dwell Studio at our local Hancock Fabrics. It was 50% off, and I purchased a half yard, and I think I paid roughly $4.50. Fold it in half so you only have to make one cut and use your old flag as a sort of template.
Now, carefully plan your next steps.
Think, "Hey! I should take a picture first!" but then have a pretty Cocker Spaniel foil your flag-documenting-fun.
Say, "Screw all this documenting...I'm sitting on the Sofa so Sasha can't sit on my work" then don't take any more pictures till its finished.
Basically, what I did was sew the two wrong sides of the fabric together, flip it inside out, then sew a little rod pocket type thing by hand. My hand sewing is not so very good...but I find it more relaxing than sitting at my sewing machine.
Last, but not least, hang your new flag outside and when your neighbors say, "Aw! You got a new flag!", proudly answer them that you made it yourself(and hope they don't look at the stitching).